What hits: The average Death Day for Men is 73. (7-3-!) So, after we turned 36.5, we started going downhill. But you'll outlive me! In Mississippi, I'll die at 71.2, and you'll live until 78.6 in NY. Since I'm an old man compared to you, I'll give you some worldly advice. Don't be internet famous but neighborhood famous. You'll be happier. Plus, you can't change my diaper over the internet.
I get it. I’ve been where you are. 38 years old, but feeling younger and at the same time realizing you’re getting old and you haven’t accomplished what you want to in life. It’s easy to dwell on the failures.
As someone who was in Junior High when you were born, I’d like to tell you something:
You ain’t seen nothing yet.
I just turned 50, have been a widower for 7 years, have no current source of income along with loads of debt, and was just diagnosed with early-onset Parkinson’s.
Enjoy your relative youth, young man. Actually becoming old is coming and if you go into it sporting your current worldview, you aren’t gonna make it.
That’s funny, Seinfeld in the show has always been my barometer for age and whether things are going good. We don’t talk enough about what comes for people after 40. You still have so much time.
I always think: old in comparison to who? A 10-year old? Getting older means taking better care of our bodies, unlearning bad habits, and making the best of our years. I can’t fight what’s natural and the best thing is to ease into this stage of my life with gratitude. We don’t lose as much as we gain with age.
Relatable. I'm sorry you lost your father that way. I'm 33 and have lost both of my parents. I used to want to 'make it' so I could buy my mom a house, but I've never been interested in fame for fame's sake. I don't want people to recognize me when I go to the grocery store. I was in a big fish small pond scenario where that was the case and I hated it. "Hey you're that girl from..." Leave me alone, lady, I'm buying cheese. I think I'd rather work at a grocery store than be famous.
I’m going to turn 40 in the end of September and I’m like whaaaat?! I do feel 29 🫣 I have the energy and ideas I have never had before. And this after three kids 😀 so, I would say age is relative and misleading. Or rather, consider age as a reminder to live more and plan a bit less 🤷♀️ I am highly motivated by spontaneity 😳 and creativity.
Also a 38 y/o who thinks I’m in my 20s, and definitely acts it also. Most of my friends (and husband) are in their 40s and 50s so I get that I can’t really vocalize the panic I am beginning to feel about 40 not being far away. Not bc I feel old (although I have arthritis and wear hearing aids 🤣) but bc of the objective march towards death. I wonder about which decade I’ll enter and hit deep depression about the fact that I don’t have many years left to live—my dad was like this when he turned 60. Anxiety just accelerates that: before I know it that’ll be me! Those early years are lost now! I don’t want to die! There are so many books I’ll never have time to read!
Cannot relate to setting goals and working to meet them. That is an inhuman feat from my perspective. Very mature of you!
52 year old here who thought that 38 was old as the hills 😂. How I laugh at myself now, as well as other who feel this way. I was the most in shape at that age. In my early to mid 30s, older women at my previous job often assumed I was still in high school and would get super offended< when I mentioned my actual age lol. At 38 people assumed I was in my early 20s. None of this was prompted by me. I just have good genes and ADHD which often presents mentally as much younger. My friends were much younger and most of the people I dated were younger. I felt pretty damned young at the time as well.
All that to say it’s all relative. Just wait till you hit 40 then 50. Those are the real existential crises birthdays.
Sweetheart,
My heart breaks for anyone who feels old at age 38 (barring dire physical and or emotional circumstances ).
As I gleefully release you from my inbox, I croak (I am 58 🧟♀️) one word of advice:
Travel.
I’m 55. This essay is like the skinny girl talking to her much bigger friend and saying, “Oh my God, I’m sooooo fat.”
Ha ha ha ha I’m sorry but this is so true. 38 is not old - it’s not even half way 😂
I'm also precisely a 29-presenting 38-year-old. I posted a "Ren & Stimpy" clip in my work Slack today. I can smell the lead paint on death's door.
What hits: The average Death Day for Men is 73. (7-3-!) So, after we turned 36.5, we started going downhill. But you'll outlive me! In Mississippi, I'll die at 71.2, and you'll live until 78.6 in NY. Since I'm an old man compared to you, I'll give you some worldly advice. Don't be internet famous but neighborhood famous. You'll be happier. Plus, you can't change my diaper over the internet.
neighborhood famous! I love this!
I get it. I’ve been where you are. 38 years old, but feeling younger and at the same time realizing you’re getting old and you haven’t accomplished what you want to in life. It’s easy to dwell on the failures.
As someone who was in Junior High when you were born, I’d like to tell you something:
You ain’t seen nothing yet.
I just turned 50, have been a widower for 7 years, have no current source of income along with loads of debt, and was just diagnosed with early-onset Parkinson’s.
Enjoy your relative youth, young man. Actually becoming old is coming and if you go into it sporting your current worldview, you aren’t gonna make it.
You Millennials crack me up. So much drama!
Sincerely,
Gary from Gen X
That’s funny, Seinfeld in the show has always been my barometer for age and whether things are going good. We don’t talk enough about what comes for people after 40. You still have so much time.
“When I was actually a young man, it used to piss me off when older people would say “but you’re still so young!”
i’m 75. Trust me, you’re not old. “old” is a state of mind. the body ages but in your mind’s eye you will be forever 29.
I always think: old in comparison to who? A 10-year old? Getting older means taking better care of our bodies, unlearning bad habits, and making the best of our years. I can’t fight what’s natural and the best thing is to ease into this stage of my life with gratitude. We don’t lose as much as we gain with age.
Relatable. I'm sorry you lost your father that way. I'm 33 and have lost both of my parents. I used to want to 'make it' so I could buy my mom a house, but I've never been interested in fame for fame's sake. I don't want people to recognize me when I go to the grocery store. I was in a big fish small pond scenario where that was the case and I hated it. "Hey you're that girl from..." Leave me alone, lady, I'm buying cheese. I think I'd rather work at a grocery store than be famous.
I’m going to turn 40 in the end of September and I’m like whaaaat?! I do feel 29 🫣 I have the energy and ideas I have never had before. And this after three kids 😀 so, I would say age is relative and misleading. Or rather, consider age as a reminder to live more and plan a bit less 🤷♀️ I am highly motivated by spontaneity 😳 and creativity.
This was inspiring!
Incredible! Can you share more about how that plan was implemented and how do you feel achieving this goals?
Also a 38 y/o who thinks I’m in my 20s, and definitely acts it also. Most of my friends (and husband) are in their 40s and 50s so I get that I can’t really vocalize the panic I am beginning to feel about 40 not being far away. Not bc I feel old (although I have arthritis and wear hearing aids 🤣) but bc of the objective march towards death. I wonder about which decade I’ll enter and hit deep depression about the fact that I don’t have many years left to live—my dad was like this when he turned 60. Anxiety just accelerates that: before I know it that’ll be me! Those early years are lost now! I don’t want to die! There are so many books I’ll never have time to read!
Cannot relate to setting goals and working to meet them. That is an inhuman feat from my perspective. Very mature of you!
I'm so sorry you lost your father so young.
I'm a bit older than you, but I loved reading this. And I'm probably the youngest old lady you'll ever meet.
I am 34 and sometimes I feel a little bit old as well
52 year old here who thought that 38 was old as the hills 😂. How I laugh at myself now, as well as other who feel this way. I was the most in shape at that age. In my early to mid 30s, older women at my previous job often assumed I was still in high school and would get super offended< when I mentioned my actual age lol. At 38 people assumed I was in my early 20s. None of this was prompted by me. I just have good genes and ADHD which often presents mentally as much younger. My friends were much younger and most of the people I dated were younger. I felt pretty damned young at the time as well.
All that to say it’s all relative. Just wait till you hit 40 then 50. Those are the real existential crises birthdays.